Who Am I?
by lishbug
Summary: Continuation of Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me. Olivia deals with her nightmares, life, questions, and Alex being back. Broken Olivia 2
1. Default Chapter

A/N: The muse just wouldn't let this story line go. One of those that just scratches at you till you say "Fine, I'll continue." That and friends saying you should continue. So between the two we have this "Who Am I?" I hope it will be the same quality the original was, don't be afraid to call me on it. Go back and read Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me if you haven't and you should be on the right page cause this could get confusing. This story is about Olivia's search for herself and the question of Alex. Enjoy

Who Am I?

Sequel to Like Father, Like Mother, Like Me.

**1.**

Olivia sat in the overstuffed, black leather chair, her mind running over the happenings of the last few days.

Alex was home; she was living at her mother's town house until she found a new place. The ADA's office was trying to figure out what to do with her. They wanted to use her, but for now all places were filled. She was also looking at teaching at Hudson University for a class, just one.

Olivia had finally made it through her flu, Alex had hung around a lot, making sure she was eating and keeping her company when she slept. She slept better when Alex was around. She was returning to work today, she talked to Huang about it. He had told her that he would give his approval to Cragen, since she took a mental health leave, if she started to see his friend Dr. Mays.

So here she sat.

Dr. Angie Mays looked up from the paperwork that Olivia had filled out.

"So, Olivia, where would you like to start."

Olivia shrugged.

"Okay why don't we start with your nightmares over the past two years, you wrote that you have been having nightmares over the last 2 years and worsening in the last few months."

Olivia nodded.

"Was there a common theme?"

Olivia nodded again.

"Would you like to talk about them, any of them, all of them?" Dr. Mays said softly.

"I guess we could discuss the ones about my father."

"Are they the most common?"

"No, not since college… I'm not ready to talk about my most recent ones." Olivia said quietly.

"Fair enough. What about the dreams dealing with your father." She glanced down at her paperwork looking for paternal information.

"You didn't write anything on your parental history."

"I don't know my father," Olivia stated plainly.

"What are the nightmares like if don't know who your father is?"

"Correction doctor, I didn't say I didn't know who my father was. I just don't have a face or name."

Dr. Mays looked in Olivia's eyes waiting for her to continue.

"I know exactly who my father is. My nightmares are about me becoming or being who my father is… My father is a rapist, a violent man."

Dr. Mays nodded, "Have you ever felt aggression, sexually toward anyone?"

Olivia sighed and placed her elbows on her knees, resting her head in her hands.

"I feel aggression all the time toward the perps we get at SVU. But I guess that's not the kind of aggression you want me to talk about."

"If you want to we can talk about it."

"No, No I'll answer your question." Olivia took a deep breath.

"Once, in college. It is something I try so hard to forget, but can't, it reminds me of who I don't want to become."

"Hmm" Dr. Mays waited to see if Olivia would continue.

"We all went out to a party, I was 19, young, my whole group and I had too much to drink. I saw a younger girl, she was 18 I think, she hadn't been drinking, which is a good thing looking back on it. I tried to make a move on her, for some reason it felt right, I don't know; college was a confusing time." It still is, she thought.

"Anyway, she pushed away from my advances. That got me angry I wanted to show her, show her what happens when I get denied. I had a moment of clarity; I never actually hurt her. Before I could I ran out of the building and threw up outside. My friends found me 2 hours later in the grass, curled up. The aggression I felt transferred to anger at myself. The dreams are always what ifs, what if I didn't stop myself. What if?"

"Olivia, you were intoxicated. I understand though, I do. You feel that because those thoughts and feelings coursed through you that you are like your father, but think of this. Your father wouldn't have stopped. You stopped. You're not your father. You stopped. And being intoxicated, that takes strength; you are a very strong woman Olivia."

Olivia looked up at Dr. Mays. She remembered George telling her something similar that morning in the crash room, but it felt different coming from someone outside of her world.

"Alright. Our hour is up, I'll see you in a couple days?"

Olivia nodded, gathered her leather jacket and waved goodbye as she left the office.

&&&

Olivia put on her detective face before entering the precinct. She was ready for this she had to be. She drew up all her confidence and strolled through the doors of the SVU, draping her coat over her chair.

No sooner had she gotten a cup of coffee and welcome backs from all the guys then Cragen came flying out of his office at full speed.

"We got a big one guys. A house with three young girls was vandalized. Mom and Dad where out, babysitter was found murdered. The young girls are being hospitalized for observation, they witnessed it. Olivia, Elliot I want the two of you to check out the scene then go to the hospital to see the girls. Munch, Fin I got another case for you, delivery guy claims that one of his customers sexually assaulted him, The customer also claims assault. It's a he said she said case, check it out. Its gonna require travel time, the customer lives out on Long Island, the delivery man and company are stationed here in Manhattan." Cragen finished his debriefment then handed the respect files out.

"Olivia are you ready for this?"

"Yeah Cap I can handle it."

Olivia and Elliot head out to the sedan while Munch and Fin decide the best place to start.

&&&

/A few hours later back at the station/

Elliot and Olivia sat at their desks going over all the information that they had. It seemed as though the assailant entered the apartment around 9, figuring that it was empty and found the babysitter on the couch. The kids were already in their rooms. The commotion awoke the kids and brought them out into the living room. He didn't notice them; he did the babysitter in. They were waiting on a rape kit. Lucky the kids were not physically hurt, and if there was a rape they didn't see it. The oldest one who was 7 was able to give them a description of the guy. White, younger then Elliot, about her Dad's height, which is 5'10", it was dark so she couldn't see his face, but he had a hat on anyway. The hat was red, with no words. He had on a dark sweatshirt, and dark pants with white sneakers, she remembered the sneakers she had said. She likes white sneakers. It was a good description for a 7-year-old, but it wouldn't get them too far, yet anyway.

Just as Olivia and Elliot were finishing the paperwork on the follow-ups, statements, and going over the evidence one more time, for the night, Alex entered the squad room.

"Hey guys, rough day?" Alex asked taking in the detectives' haggard looks.

"Yeah you could say that." Elliot replied. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Well I got a lot of great news today and I wanted to share it with friends."

"Oh do share." Munch cooed as he and Fin entered the room, looking tired themselves.

"Well I just got back from Branch's office. They decided that I would be a consultant for the ADA's office until they could ease me back into a spot, I guess one of the ADA's in another unit is up for promotion soon. Anyway I'll be a consultant for the Manhattan SVU and for City Policies in Manhattan. The only reason I got SVU is because of my experience, the board made sure I was very clear on that. Branch is filling Casey in now, she missed the meeting."

"Hey congratulations Alex. It will be great getting to work with you again."

"Thanks Fin, but Casey is the primary, I'm just for consulting and I can get you warrant's when she is unavailable."

"So what other good news you acted like you had lots of stuff to share." Elliot said his eyes dancing.

"I was accepted as a teacher for an advanced public justice course at Hudson University. They were really excited to hear I wanted the position. I'm just teaching one course, on Tuesdays and Thursday mornings but it should be fun, and I'll still have enough time for the ADA's office if a spot does open up."

"That's great Alex. You sound so excited."

"I am, thanks Captain."

Olivia remained quiet through out the entire conversation, taking everything that Alex had to say. She really was back now wasn't she?

"Hey Alex we gotta get out of here for a while, why don't you join us for a drink."

"Sounds great, Thanks Munch." She smiled. It felt great to be part of the gang again.

&&&

They all sat around the table a pitcher of Beer in the middle, all their glasses filled. Cragen had a bottle of Pepsi he was enjoying. They were laughing about nonsense, reminiscing about when Alex first came into the SVU.

Casey entered the bar; she scanned the room looking for the detectives. She located them, hearing Fin's laugh. She saw Alex, head back, laughing at the story that was being told by Munch and Elliot. The Captain was chuckling and Olivia looked lost in the moment.

She marched up to the table. Everyone stopped laughing for a moment to welcome her and invite her, but she didn't want to intrude. She just started talking.

"Congratulations Alexandra, I'm sure it will be a pleasure working with you, but don't get the idea that I'm going to need you."

With that she spun around and left the bar, leaving the detectives and the Former ADA watching her leave with befuddled expressions ontheir faces.

"What was that all about?" Fin asked.

"I think I over stepped my bounds when I first meet her."

"No you didn't, she just thinks she can handle everything." Elliot reassured her.

"Well I have to get out of here, we have a lot to do in the morning, I'll see everyone bright and early."

A chorus of "yes Cap" went around the table as they each got ready to leave.

Elliot caught up with Olivia on her way out.

"Liv, are you okay, you seemed distant in there."

"Yeah El, I was just thinking."

"Okay, well if you ever need to talk I'm here partner."

"Thanks El. I'll see you tomorrow."

&&&

/Olivia's/

Olivia entered her living room, she decided to tidy up a little before trying to sleep. She started folding the blankets around the couch, she never got a chance to put everything away from being sick. As she glided around the room replacing pillows and straightening books her mind started to wander.

She remembered when she saw Alex for the first time. She was so happy to see her, but she was so sick she couldn't express it. She remembered how it felt to sleep with Alex so close, she slept peacefully when Alex watched over her.

Olivia finished up in the living room and headed for a quick shower before turning in. She wanted to be able to get to the precinct early so they could catch the creep they were after.


	2. Chapter 2

**Who Am I?**

**2.**

/Two days later/

/Dr. Mays Office/

Olivia once again sat in the big leather chair. An uncomfortable silence filled the air between the two women. Dr. Mays decided to break the silence with small talk.

"Have you slept well the last two nights?"

"Not bad, not great." Olivia replied with out much thought.

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Not really," Olivia sighed.

"I see. Is there anything causing you not to sleep?"

"We are working a really bad case, some young girls witnessed their babysitter being murdered. Its just terrible."

"Sounds traumatic."

"It is, worse part is the sitter was raped, the good part is the kids didn't see that."

"Yeah, but let's talk about you for a little while."

"Okay."

"I bet you could be sharper if you were to get some sleep."

"Probably, but if you saw what I see everyday you wouldn't be able to sleep either."

"I guess you could be right. But lets try and figure out how we can let you get some sleep."

"Okay I guess."

"What do you do to relax usually?"

"I go to the bar with the guys after really bad days. When I get home I will take a shower and try to go to sleep. If I can't sleep I'll have a drink and/or watch television."

"Do you end up drinking more often than not."

"I'm not an Alcoholic."

"I didn't say you were."

"I know Alcoholics, my mother was an Alcoholic, I am most definitely not an Alcoholic."

"Well Olivia, your not pleading your case well."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, its okay lets work through this. Do you have an answer to the question?"

"Yes, I often find that I drink more often than not after work, at least lately."

"Do you have a lot."

"No usually just one or just a half of a beer."

"Okay, it doesn't sound too bad, but I would be careful if you have a history of alcoholism in the family."

Olivia nodded, she knew, she tried to be careful, maybe every now and then she would join Cragen in a cola or club soda.

"Maybe to relax you could take a bath, get some aroma therapy, Lavender is suppose to help you relax. There is also a whole array of different things you can get, bath salts, candles, and sheet spray. Maybe you could do some sort of physical exercise to clear your mind before going to sleep."

"I go rock climbing when I'm not too busy with work."

"That's a great activity."

"Before you go, time is almost up, do you have anyone intimately in your life right now?"

"No, Why?" Olivia looked to the carpet.

"Sometimes it helps, if they are someone you really connect with?"

"Yeah I guess, but I'm pretty much an alone person these days. I'll see you in a couple days. How many more sessions before I don't have to come back every other day?"

"Just one then we have an every two weeks schedule, that is if you feel ready."

"Okay." Olivia once again gathered her leather jacket throwing it around her shoulders and exited the office.

&&&

/The precinct/

"Okay we got a lead on this guys here." Elliot pointed to a picture of a 30 something guy on the pin board.

"What do we know about him." Olivia took another sip of coffee.

She had only been in the building five minutes and they were already knee deep in the case, Elliot had gotten there really early, chasing leads from the day before.

"His name is Brett Doors. He lives in the apartment building across the street from where our Vic, Samantha Jefferies, was raped and murdered. He apparently has had his eye on the apartment that the crime took place for about a month, so some eyewitnesses say. The family had some money which was rumored to be stashed away somewhere, all rumored, well the stashing part. The money is in the bank. We checked the Phone logs for our crime scene and low and behold the perp called the place every few days only recording a 30 second call, just long enough for an answering machine or a person to pick up and be hung up on. He must have been checking to see when they were home."

"Do you think we got enough to check out his place, ask him some questions?" Olivia asked listening intently to everything Elliot was talking about. Nice thing about work was she could forget about everything else for a while.

"I don't know I hope so lets call Novak in." Elliot started back toward his desk.

"We can't Casey went with Munch and Fin out to Long Island to try and get the he-said-she-said case wrapped up before I quote 'the city wastes anymore money on this disaster.'"

"Oh, should we call Cabot?"

"Why not." Olivia choked out.

"Do you want me to call or do you want to." Elliot asked noticing the strange response.

"You call." She replied relieved, unsure if she would be able to talk to Alex.

"Okay." Elliot looked at his partner funny as she engrossed herself in her coffee and a file.

A few minutes later Alex came strolling into the precinct with a warrant, wearing her trademark suit and heals.

"Someone ordered a warrant?" Alex smiled at the two partners.

"We did." Elliot replied taking the paper. "We'll see you later, thanks." He waved as Olivia and he made their way out into the afternoon chill to collar their perp.

He was easy to find; right in his apartment. When they knocked on the door and he saw the warrant he took off in a run. Unfortunately for the detectives they were on the first floor so he shot out into the street. Elliot radioed for back up as they took off after him. Olivia was gaining on him. She caught up to him about a half-a-block away, tackled him to the ground.

"Why'd you run Brett?" She asked as she brought his hands behind his back.

"I didn't do anything."

"We got a warrant to check that very thing out." Elliot said out of breath as he caught up to the pair.

"Let's get you down to the station." She picked him up off the ground.

"Am I under arrest."

"No not yet."

"Can I still have a lawyer?"

"Sure Brett anything you want." Elliot said as he put Brett in the back of the sedan.

He and Olivia would be back later to check out the apartment. It looked like they needed to have a heart to heart with Mr. Doors first.

&&&

That evening Olivia and Elliot were back at their desks. They had cracked Brett. They also found the red hat and the white sneakers in his apartment. They were hoping that Casey would stop in when she got back so they could go over the case with her. She, nor Fin and Munch came back. They decided to just fill her in tomorrow. They finished up all the paperwork for the case around 7 and headed out into the crisp night air.

&&&

/The next day at the precinct/

The four detectives were sharing the stories of the day before with each other. Munch and Fin had an interesting day. Charges ended up being dropped on both sides when it came out that the delivery man and the customer where having an affair and the charges were filed only after the customer's husband came home early. Talk about waste of valuable detective work, not to mention ADA work. Casey was not happy on the way back to the city last night. Elliot and Olivia were a little nervous about the briefing they would have to do; Casey didn't like Alex too much.

Alex came into the squad room a little before eight.

"Okay guys I only have an hour, I have to make it to Hudson for a 9:15 class."

"Hey Alex." Everyone said at the same time.

Casey came breezing into the office seconds behind Cabot.

"Alright what did you guys do? How did you get that warrant?"

"We went to Alex, our consultant." Olivia said already frustrated.

"No, I know HOW you got it, I want to know why the judge gave it to you."

"I went to Petrovsky's Court." Alex said.

"She gave you the warrant?" Casey said with astonishment. "I can hardly ever get that woman to give me anything."

"We've known each other for a long time, she trusts the fact that I trust the instincts and skills of _your_ detectives." Alex said stressing the word your. She by no means wanted to step on Casey's toes, even though in her heart they will always be _her_ detectives.

"Fine, have we got enough to keep him and get him?" Casey asked Olivia.

"We did you one better, we got a confession even though he lawyered up, the lawyer was not pleased. And we found the red hat and white sneakers in his apartment. The sneakers had blood on them, the ME got the results back to us this morning. It matches the vic." Olivia said with a smile.

Alex watched Olivia tell the ADA what they had. She missed the working relationship that they once had. Something was happening before she left, it was a confusing time, but they never got a chance to figure out what it was, damn Velez. But she was back now.

Alex glanced at her watch and turned to the group, discussing the case.

"I have to get over to Hudson, I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Alex, hey are you up for drinks and pizza tonight after work?" Olivia asked, regretting the words as they spilled over her lips.

"Um, sure I can tell you all about the crazy underclassmen that are in my lecture." Alex was pleased yet surprised by the invitation.

Alex then strode out of the precinct toward a new chapter in her life.

Olivia turned her attention back to the case at hand. Casey was questioning Elliot about the handling of evidence, she wanted to make sure everything was set. She had to be in court in an hour for a preliminary hearing with Brett Doors.

&&&

Olivia sat at the table in the back of Uncle Tony's Pizza, it was a small place, only sat about 15 people. The precinct ordered pizza from him a lot. She had ordered the usual, at least she hoped it was still the usual, medium cheese pizza and a glass of beer for each of them. She waited for Alex to join her. They had talked to each other around 2 and decided on Uncle Tony's at 7.

As Olivia waited she let her mind go over the case that they had just finished with. Casey assured them that it was a slam-dunk, they had done a good job, even Alex, but Casey wouldn't admit to it. She wondered what Casey didn't like about Alex. They were both good lawyers in there own sense. Alex had a better connection to the squad but they had all gone through a lot together. Alex had started to trust the detectives' guts, Casey was still not at that point.

Alex slid into the booth just as the ice-cold beers were placed on the table.

"You have impeccable timing counselor."

"Why thank you detective." Alex grinned as she took a sip of the beer. "you order the usual."

"Medium Cheese."

"Alright, perfect end to a really great day."

"How was your first day teach?" Olivia smiled; it felt great just to get out socially.

"Fun actually, I enjoyed teaching while I was in the program. I have a great class. Its in a lecture hall but since it is an upper division class there are less students than a regular underclass course, so it is all Pre-law and some criminal justice prodigies. It was only the first day so we'll see. On Tuesday we are going to really get started on the material."

"Sounds like you are going to have a good time with this. Why don't you try to teach more classes?"

"I would but I don't want to commit to something then not be able to practice the law anymore."

"Yeah, your one hell of a Prosecutor."

"Thank you." Alex said with a smile. "You're not such a bad detective either."

"Thanks," Olivia said a blush starting to creep up her cheeks. She rubbed her hands over her face. The waiter then brought the pizza. Saved by the bell, or cheese be it the case.

They ate in silence for a few minutes.

"So, Liv, how have you been, we really haven't got to talk much since I've been back, other then when you were sick." Turning their talk to a serious tone.

"Um, I've been alright I guess. I never got a chance to thank you for keeping me company while I was sick." Olivia looked at her plate, a half eaten pizza slice left abandoned.

"Its no big deal. You were really sick. You looked terrible. They guys at said you hadn't been eating a lot lately and sleeping hardly at all." Alex replied. And I couldn't see you so hurt and upset, she thought to herself.

"Yeah I guess." But it's a big deal to me, Olivia thought to herself.

"So everything work out okay in that case," Alex tried changing the subject.

"Yeah," there seemed to be a tension between them now.

They ate in somewhat uncomfortable silence for the rest of the meal. The waiter brought the check over and Olivia left the money on the table. They both made there way out of the restaurant.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, I have to stop by the precinct, if you're in."

"Okay." Olivia scraped her foot on the ground before waving and walking toward her apartment building.

Alex watched her go, getting farther away. She knew that a lot was going inside her head. She just wished that she knew what it was. She hailed a cab and climbed in heading to her new place. She had just moved in on Wednesday just in time to start her new jobs.

&&&

/Olivia's apartment, later that night/

Olivia sat on her couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. It was dark in the apartment but she didn't care, the darkness fit her ever-gloomy mood when she was home. She tilted her head to rest on the back of the couch. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to go to a place she tried to stay away from.

Before Alex left. Right before. Before the Zapata case they had worked on a really hard case with a kid accusing his step mother of molesting him, after a lot of work they found the allegations to be false, but they put the family through hell. The court ordered the whole family into counseling, apparently there was something wrong. Apparently, no shit. Alex was really upset about the whole thing. Olivia had stopped by her office on her way home, well it wasn't really on the way. There was a moment between them, subtle, just a brush of a hand across Alex's face, but it was an unmistakable moment. Before they could figure it out, Olivia got called away for another call, then the next day the whole Zapata thing happened.

Olivia sighed, and pulled herself off the couch. She drew a bath and threw some lavender salts in the tub. She sunk into the steamy water it felt like heaven. The lavender calmed her worried and anxious mind and her confused heart. She wished she had tried this sooner. She reluctantly toweled off and slipped on some boxers and a tank and slipped between the fresh cool sheets of her bed. Drifting off into a gentle sleep she couldn't help but smile, if only she had someone to share all this with, Dr. Mays was right.

A/N: Stay tuned for part 3, should be done soon, it's already basically planned out. I hope you are all enjoying it. I get my kicks from reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The final installment of Who Am I? I don't know if my muse is done with it, I think it is. I hope you have enjoyed it. With out further ado the completion of Who Am I:

**Who Am I?**

**3.**

/Friday Dr. May's office/

Olivia walked into the office and eyed the chair; its black leather seemed to call her to sit. She chose to stand. If she sat she might loose her nerve.

"I think I'm ready to talk about it."

Dr. Mays looked up to see Olivia pacing, hands on head, fingers entwined together in her short brown hair.

"Okay, would you like to sit?"

"No… not yet."

Dr. Mays nodded. Waiting for Olivia to start.

"My most common nightmare." Olivia started as if doing a report for a class.

"They are about Alex. Alexandra Cabot." She brought her hands down off her head and ran them over her face before crossing them across her chest, finding that not comfortable, and stuffing them into the loose pockets of her black chinos.

"What are they about." Dr. Mays probed gently.

"She was shot after a big case, there was a contract out on her. She was shot right in front of me. We were told she had died. But my partner and I found out that she was alive, in Witness Protection, she wanted us to know, and she wouldn't leave unless we knew. I was afraid that she would die in WP and I wouldn't find out, or that she wouldn't come back. I always saw her laying on the sidewalk, her blood, spilling around my hand as I tried to put pressure on her wound." She finished breathlessly.

"Who is she too you." Dr. Mays asked softly after a moment of watching Olivia pace, head down.

Olivia stopped her pacing and dropped into the chair head in hands.

"I don't know?" Olivia replied confusion evident in her voice.

Dr. Mays waited; she could sense that there was more.

"She was our ADA at the time, she was my friend, my colleague, is my friend. She took care of me while I was out sick with the flu; she had just gotten back. She didn't have to but she did."

Olivia looked up with tears in her eyes to Dr. Mays. "I don't know where we stand. I'm so confused."

"Have you talked to her, tried to sort this out."

"No, I'm scared. I don't want to loose a friend."

"If she is as you say, I'm sure you won't loose a friend."

"I just need some time to think this out."

"Maybe you should be talking to Alex."

"Maybe…"

&&&

Olivia made her way into the precinct. She had stayed at Dr. Mays' office longer then usually. They had decided to not go the whole two weeks, just four days, she was making progress and they didn't want to loose that. Dr. Mays really got deep into Olivia today. The whole session tired Olivia out but she knew she needed to work today, just to help clear her mind, as crazy as that was.

When she entered the Squad room there was a lot of commotion.

"What do you mean he might get out?" A woman waving a copy of the post shouted.

"I'm sorry ma'am but new evidence has been introduced…" Cragen tried to calm the very distraught young woman.

"After 3 years!" the woman interrupted the captain.

"It's not necessarily evidence to get him out, but his attorneys want to try. Let's go somewhere private and discuss this." Cragen tried to guide the woman into the interrogation room. She followed reluctantly.

The room watched the door close behind them.

"What was that all about?" Olivia asked Elliot as she sat in the chair.

"Wow did you miss a morning and a half, sleep late?"

"No had a legit appointment, Cragen knew. So what happened?"

"Well remember that case we worked with Cabot on a few years back. Woman raped in apartment, ex boyfriend convicted on somewhat shoddy evidence, but it was the best we could do."

"Oh yeah, the evidence was a fingerprint and an eye witness putting him outside the apartment that night, that wasn't really shoddy evidence, but I remember his lawyer tried to paint that picture. That was a bad case… they all are really. I remember Alex being pissed because we couldn't get anymore evidence but we all knew it was him, God even his lawyer knew it was him."

"Alex still got him convicted anyway, even with the evidence. Well we have new evidence, well not really new evidence but remember how there were mysterious marks on the vics body, we got pics of them during the rape kit."

"Yeah they were strange, like she was branded or something."

"Well another case was taken in just yesterday by the Bronx SVU with the same marking, our guy is still in jail so it wasn't him. The marks match Liv. The press got a hold of it, the ex boyfriend's lawyer got a hold of it, and they are both running with it. I think they were friends of something, I don't think that this guy should get out." Elliot finished his tyrant.

Olivia sat there letting the whole settle in. "Wow. What do we have to do?"

"Nothing really we just need to be able to cooperate with the Bronx SVU if they need some of our info, and rework the case a little. The ADA's office is going handle it mostly through the courts but we might need to testify. Casey was not happy she was here briefly early this morning, she was talking to Cragen when I got here around 7:30."

"Wow." Olivia said again, getting up and going to the coffeepot to pour herself a cup, it was going to continue being a long day.

It was well after 2 in the afternoon when Casey came back to the squad room to go over things with Elliot and Olivia; they had been the lead detectives on the case three years ago.

They all sat in one of the interrogation rooms with papers strewn all over the table. They sat there going over the evidence for an hour and half. Not getting anywhere.

"I wonder if Alex remembers anything about this case?" Elliot mused.

"Hey I bet she does." Olivia's eyes lit up; maybe they could get this case squared away today, so she could just enjoy the weekend off. She had some serious thinking to do this weekend.

"What do you think Casey should we bring in Cabot?" Elliot asked hopefully, he too wanted to get the case wrapped up on their end so he could enjoy the weekend with his family.

"Lets give another run through before we bring her in." Casey said walking around the table once more desperately trying to locate the information that they would need.

The three of them went over the case they did and the new evidence that they had on the Bronx rape. There was something that they were missing, there had to be.

"Alright fine call in Cabot." Casey said exasperatingly as she threw another folder of testimony on the pile.

Elliot left the room to make the call. They all took a break while they waited for Alex to get there.

Twenty minutes later Alex came into the squad room.

"Okay guys what do we have?"

The four of them made their way back into the interrogation room where all the papers were still out on the table. Elliot filled her in on the cases.

"Yeah I remember that case. The defense had a crappy approach. Hell even his lawyer knew he did it, you could tell. Why does he want to try and get him out?"

"The new evidence actually looks like he might not have done it…. Or not done it alone."

"Hmm, well lets see." Alex sifted through the paperwork and testimonies from the case. As she flipped through one testimony she stopped short.

"Wait, this guy here," She held out the file to Casey, who was standing against the wall. "When we interviewed him, he said he was best friends with the ex-boyfriend. He had an alibi for the night of this rape a solid one, but something tells me that he might have known about it, hold on."

Alex got up and shifted through an evidence folder on the very bottom of the pile.

"Here it is, I thought I remembered something about this. Look there were other reported rapes with these marks present, the guy or guys were never caught because they were very particular on not leaving evidence. I bet our guy got sloppy with his ex and his partner in crime didn't know about this one because it wasn't suppose to happen."

"Then our boy in the Bronx decided to lay low for a while then strike again." Elliot finished for her.

"Most likely. Get the friend back and talk him." Casey said as she looked through the files that Alex handed her.

"I'll call the Bronx SVU and have them with us when we get him." Olivia left the room to make the call.

"Hey Elliot?" Alex called to him as they all prepared to exit the room.

"Yeah." He stopped and faced Alex.

"Is everything okay with Liv?" She asked concern written on her face.

"I don't know Alex, I don't know." Elliot shook his head in reply.

"As long as her work is not affected." Casey said as she breezed past them.

Alex and Elliot both glared at her as she exited the room before them. Why did have to be so cold sometimes. One of their own was having trouble. They had to watch each other's backs even when they weren't on the job.

&&&

/That night at the Bar/

"Good work detectives. Alex you really helped us out today."

"Thanks Cragen."

Alex, Cragen, Elliot, Munch, Fin, Olivia and even Casey sat around a big table celebrating the great day they put in. Elliot and Olivia were finally having a weekend off; Munch and Fin were to be on call.

Olivia smiled and laughed with the group for a while then retreated back into her chair. She was lost in thought thinking about what Dr. Mays had said earlier in the day, she couldn't believe that it was just that morning that she was sitting in the good doctors office.

"So Alex how was your first day of teaching yesterday?" Cragen asked. This brought Olivia out of her zone, she wanted to hear again how the day went.

"Well we didn't get much done, it was the first day, I just got the syllabus out and we talked about the class a bit and the book and what to expect from each other. I think it is going to be a great semester."

"That sounds great Alex. Here's to Professor Cabot." Elliot called rising his mug to the sky. Everyone followed suit toasting a smiling Alex.

"Well I need to get home to the kids." Elliot called after another hour of talk and food.

"Yeah I should get going too." Munch called, grabbing for his jacket.

"Me too." Olivia said absent-mindedly.

Everyone dropped money on the table and made their way out into the night. It was hard to believe it was almost 10:30. They had spent a long evening enjoying the non-working company.

Elliot caught up to Olivia on their way out of the bar.

"Liv, are you okay, you zoned out for quite a while in there." Elliot touched her shoulder.

Olivia hung her head choosing her words. "Yeah El, I'll be fine. I got to start working on some personal stuff this weekend. But everything will be okay."

"Are you sure?" Elliot lightly squeezed her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Olivia smiled lightly, and turned placing her hand in her coat pocket and walked away. Her unzipped coat flapped lightly in the wind as she strolled down the street.

Elliot watched her go, shook his head lightly with his hands on his hips. He then turned toward his car and headed home. He was looking forward to playing with his kids all weekend and spending time with his wife.

&&&

Once home, Olivia turned out the lights and lit a lavender scented candle that she had bought and placed on the coffee table. Dr. Mays had been right; lavender really helped calm your nerves. She shut her eyes letting the darkness and the scent take over her body.

Knock Knock Knock

The harsh sound brought Olivia's eyes wide, registering where she was and the time; she got up and answered the door.

Alex.

She let Alex in and they both sat on the couch facing each other. Olivia kind of felt sick to her stomach, but she tired to suppress the feeling.

"Olivia, are you okay, you've seemed distant the last week. Well the entire time I've been back actually, I just chalked it up to being sick at first." Alex said in one breath, though softly.

"I just need time to figure stuff out, I think, Alex. I'm just trying to figure out who I am anymore, what I need."

Olivia scooted up the couch moving closer to Alex. Seeing if she understood what she can't say. Alex searched her face, looking everywhere but directly in her eyes.

"How long?"

"I don't know."

Alex nods. Then shakes her head, no Olivia shouldn't have to go through this alone.

Alex reaches out and brushes her had across Olivia's cheek mirroring the action Olivia once used to calm her along time ago, before hell broke loose. Olivia leaned into the soft caress, closing her eyes. It felt so right to be this close, but so confusing still.

Alex closed the distance between them. Capturing Olivia's lips in a chaste kiss. She pulled away her hand shacking slightly. Olivia closed her hand round the shaking hand. She reached up with her other hand and traced Alex's jaw line, drawing her back toward her. This time Olivia took Alex's mouth in her own. Gently kissing her bottom lip, then gently letting her tongue seek entrance. Alex reciprocated every move. Unspoken questions were answered. After a few moments they pulled apart. A single tear ran down Alex's face neither one took care of it, letting it fall.

Olivia grabbed a pillow and placed it on her lap. She drew Alex down to rest her head. She carefully placed her hand through the long blonde hair. Alex slowly drifted to sleep in the comfort of Olivia's touch. Olivia watched the sleeping attorney/professor for a few minutes before drifting off herself. It felt so right.

End


End file.
